I’m a huge fan of girls who wear long hair and dresses. After all, I married one. But, the adamant declaration by certain feminine lesbians that I’ll hear sometimes, that they “LIKE GIRLS WHO LOOK LIKE GIRLS” carries with it quite a bit of baggage. It implicitly suggests that there is something wrong with girls looking like boys, and with the girls who like them that way.
In many cases, the girls who loudly say that they only like other girls who look like girls are young. They’re newly out, and they’re scared of the stigma that comes with being a lesbian. They may wish fervently that all the dykes who look like dykes would just blend in a little, and stop causing negative stereotypes of mannish lesbians out in the straight community. I know that’s how I felt, when I was newly coming to terms with my lesbian sexuality. “I like girls who look like girls,” I’d say, defending myself to the wider world by reassuring them that I was not one of those lesbians. It was only later that I began to understand that the problem lies with a society that puts such a premium on enforcing gender norms that merely being lesbian or gay is nothing compared to the sin of looking a little mannish. (And later still when I allowed myself the freedom to try on a butch presentation, and to like myself the way I was instead of the way I thought I was supposed to be).
So, here’s to girls who look like girls, and boys who look like girls, and girls who look like boys, and everyone who likes the way they look, and everyone who’d never make them change it.